Ep 350 The #1 Mistake People Make When Trying to Manifest Their Baby
On today’s solo episode of The Wholesome Fertility Podcast, I explore the often-misunderstood world of manifestation, especially as it relates to trying to conceive. If you’ve ever felt guilty for having negative thoughts or wondered whether your mindset is blocking your fertility, this episode is for you.
I break down the energetic and physical layers of manifestation, share how flow state and nervous system regulation impact your ability to create (including fertility), and offer actionable tips for integrating mindset work in a way that supports, not overwhelms, your journey. From ancient wisdom to real-life stories (including how I manifested my dream job and meeting my husband), I share how true manifestation stems from a state of ease, alignment, and wholeness.
Key Takeaways:
Manifestation is not about toxic positivity or blaming yourself for your fertility journey
Flow state, deep presence and openness, is the true foundation of creation
Fertility is an extension of the body’s creative energy and should be supported holistically
Validation of your emotions is essential, resisting them leads to stagnation
Aligning body and mind through practices like meditation, journaling, and joy-based activities can help shift your energetic state
Affirmations work best when they feel safe, believable, and rooted in gratitude
If you’re curious about how to quiet your mind and gently support your body with mindset tools, my Rooted Membership is designed for you. It’s a space where I share hypnosis audios, meditations, and mindset practices to bring calm to your fertility journey. You can even try it free for 7 days and see how it feels. https://www.michelleoravitz.com/rooted-fertility-mindset-membership
Disclaimer: The information shared on this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult with your healthcare provider before making any changes to your health or fertility care.
For more information about Michelle, visit: www.michelleoravitz.com
Check out Michelle’s Latest Book: The Way of Fertility!
https://www.michelleoravitz.com/thewayoffertility
The Wholesome FertilityFacebook group is where you can find free resources and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2149554308396504/
Instagram: @thewholesomelotusfertility
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thewholesomelotus/
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# TWF: 350 (Audio)
Michelle: [00:00:00] Episode number 350 of the Wholesome Fertility Podcast. Welcome back to the Wholesome Fertility Podcast. I'm your host, Michelle Orbitz, and today's topic is one that I feel a lot of women on the fertility journey wonder about, and especially when it comes to mindset, tools, affirmations, or manifestation practices.
And the question is. Should you worry about manifesting when trying to conceive? And this is such an important conversation because there's so much messaging out there about the power of your thoughts and energetics and creating your future. And while these tools can absolutely be supportive, they can also bring up a lot of pressure or even guilt, especially on the fertility journey.
That is already filled with emotions and stress. So let's unpack this together. I wanna share how I see manifestation fitting into fertility, why it's not the whole picture, and how it personally supported me in ways that [00:01:00] I did not expect. So stay tuned.
So should you be worrying about manifestation when you're trying to conceive? So let's start with this. No, you should not be worrying about manifestation when you're trying to conceive, although it can be, and there are a lot of tools that you can do that can support you. Through the journey. And I wanna make sure that it is clear that no, you are not blocking yourself from trying to conceive, you are trying your best to do whatever you need to do in order to have that baby.
So this is something that I come across a lot with my work and the clients that I work with and my patients as well. And what I [00:02:00] find is that there's a lot of guilt that people hold and feel. That they are really at fault for the challenges that they're going through, and that is completely not the case.
In fact, many people who are trying to conceive really would try to move mountains in order to grow their family. So it's not that not enough is being done and also having negative thoughts or ears. Does not mean that you are manifesting every fear that you're having. So I would like to really, really unpack a lot of this.
But I also want to talk about how this can come in as a support if done in an aligned way. But when it comes to trying to conceive, there are so many different layers to it, and there are a lot of things that you really have to do that are in this material world, and it's not something that you could just think about, for example.
Choosing the right diet, choosing the right lifestyle, really making those [00:03:00] calls to the right doctors and going and getting checked. All of these things that you have to do that really come down to actionable items. So there is a place, and this is what I found, and this is one of the reasons why I call it the wholesome.
I use that a lot in my wording. In my business, and that's what I call the wholesome lotus. The reason why is because I feel like when it comes to fertility, you really need to look at yourself as a whole, and Chinese medicine really looks at the human body as a whole and that the body and mind are interconnected.
So you have a place for everything. There's a place for mindset. There's a place for the physical aspect of it and actionable items. There's a place really for the yin and the yang, which are two opposing, but working together opposites. So when it comes to wellness, wholeness, vitality, there are so many different aspects of ourselves that really need to come into play.
So really living in this 3D [00:04:00] reality. Is extremely essential and very important and not something that you wanna skip over. So I would never say that it's a good idea to just work on the mindset and forget about everything else. And by the way, if you're hearing some noise outside, we have our gardening taking place right now as I record, but you know, here in my real life.
I sometimes have to balance and I still wanna record and I still wanna share the message, and sometimes I can't wait until everything's really perfectly and quiet. So hopefully that's not going to impact too much of the sound. But in any case, physical aspect is extremely important. And we also know based on research that the mindset aspect can really impact your physiology.
Another thing I wanna mention is that sometimes people get into this. Misconception that manifesting and thinking positive, it's only about thinking positive and you can't feel any other feelings and you have to shut down [00:05:00] any other feelings that are there or come up or any pain or discomfort emotionally.
And that's not the case. I think that that actually could be a very bad trap to get into. It's really, really important to validate your feelings and the way I see the mind, and throughout all of the different lessons and books that I've read and things that I've learned throughout the years. 'cause I've just always been fascinated by the mind is that if you look even throughout history, a lot of the ancient traditions that focus a lot on meditation and mindset like Buddhism.
It really comes down to the fact that everything's energy. And the more we resist what is, the more it really persists and the more we get stagnated and stuck in that place. So one of the most important things that you can do really, is to allow the thoughts to come when they're active. And the way I see emotions is that sometimes they're dormant and you can control your thoughts.
Sorry about the noise in the [00:06:00] background. But sometimes those emotions start to get activated, and the way I see it is that once the wind kicks up, you're not gonna be able to fight the wind. You gotta just let it go and kinda let it flow and move, and the easier you allow that emotion to go through, so long as you're not saying anything hurtful or creating any pain for others around you and just kind of processing it on your own.
Then the easier it will flow through you and it will create more flow and balance, not only in your mind, but also in your body. And this is really from a Chinese medicine perspective as well. Stagnation, liver stagnation, stagnation comes really from us, resistant. It's like an internal resistance that we have to what is happening around us.
So once things are already manifest and you don't like the way that things are going. Fighting it is actually going to be keeping that more in place. 'cause you're [00:07:00] creating more reality within that. So I'm gonna talk a lot kind of abstract here when it comes to manifestation and really the energetics that are underlying to your life and how you're responding to things when it comes to that energy.
And we look also into like. Ancient traditions such as martial arts, and there's something called a keto, and that is basically a type of martial arts that rather than resisting. The person that's coming at them, like say somebody is running towards them, they actually move in the direction of the person running towards them so that they're using that energy that rather than to resist it, they're moving with that energy and through doing that, they actually defeat the other person.
Now I know that that is a little bit more of kind of like. Us against them kind of energy, but it's really using the energy that's coming at you and moving with it. And by doing so even energetically in the body, [00:08:00] you're allowing that energy to move through rather than get stuck. And so this is the importance of validation and it's the importance of self validation because ultimately what validation is, is a true open acceptance of what is, and that could be what is the state that you're in emotionally at this moment in time.
When you're allowing that aspect to be, then you're allowing that energy to move. And when you're doing that, you are actually prepping your nervous system to be in the right place for any kind of manifestation or creation. So when an artist is about to paint something on. Canvas. It's important that they clear out the space around them and they clear out the canvas and they have everything ready so that they're able to create from a place of clarity rather than clutter.
So the way I see it, it's really important when you are creating, whether it's energetically creating or [00:09:00] creating in your life. Really, ultimately what manifestation is, is creation, and it's very much linked in the sense to fertility, because fertility is the creativity of the body. So in my personal experience, I think that it is really important to prime your nervous system, to get it into a state where you have more flow in your body and in your mind before you create.
What's really interesting 'cause I actually found it when I was traveling once, just randomly found this book. And it's called Flow, the Psychology of Optimal Experience by Miha. And I'm gonna say C 'cause the last name is a little hard to pronounce. And in this book, he basically describes a state of flow and how athletes have this and creators have this, and people who get really into a creative state.
Get into a state of flow and that state of flow really you could look at as extreme presence. It's to the point where people get so in the zone of the [00:10:00] present moment, it's like extreme, extreme presence where they're really able to tune into a portal where they can create and really channel a lot of information.
So you'll see this with athletes, you'll see this with musicians and artists as well. And to me that is not. Separated from fertility, 'cause that flow is where creation occurs. So whether that creation occurs mentally or the creation happens physically as in fertility, that is the same energetics is just in a different density and expression.
So for my perspective, being an artist and understanding that aspect, mentally I see a lot of corresponding. Similarities between creativity of the mind and creativity of the body. And so when you're creating, truly creating in the mind, knowing that there's this flow state that happens when people really are immersed into [00:11:00] that creation.
And similarly, it happens also when couples are intimate. It's kind of like this immersion, this letting go, this release. So getting into this flow where you're extremely present is the ultimate state, in my opinion, where manifesting can occur. And if you look at Dr. Joe Dispenza's work, he works a lot on the mind and manifesting, and he talks about the quantum field and really getting into the quantum.
And part of it is really forgetting where you are, forgetting time and. A lot of people when they talk about the flow state, they say they really feel like this timelessness in that moment. So to me, that is really the primal foundation for any kind of manifestation. So, personally, I'm gonna talk about my own journey and how I found manifestation, how I found it to work.
So years ago when I was a very stressed out architect, and it was around the same time that I actually started to see an acupuncturist. The [00:12:00] acupuncturist was helping me with my period, so think second chakra creativity, that's the womb area, and he was helping me with that as well. And during this time, not only was I getting better physically and my period was starting to regulate, but I also got into a book, and you can call it synchronicity or it's kind of some crazy coincidence that I happened to find this book around the same time that I was also physically healing.
And this book was called The Power of the Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy. And this book has really changed my life. Through this book. I started writing affirmations, but it just so happened to be, and I kind of like made sense of this later on that I also meditated around that time I got into meditation.
So I think that in a weird way, synchronicity, I was. Priming my mind to be in a state of creativity and priming my mind to be in a state where I was able to manifest. And so what I ended up doing is learning the techniques [00:13:00] and one of them being writing down affirmations. And really the key thing is, is that you write affirmations that are in the present moment.
And it's important really as you are creating and writing the affirmations that you find ones. That align with your, your BS meter. And what I mean by that is that you don't want to have the BS meter go off saying this is just complete nonsense. Because as soon as that happens, your subconscious mind, your conscious mind is gonna be like, this is not gonna happen.
This doesn't make sense. I don't really believe in it. You wanna feel safe in that affirmation, meaning you want that affirmation to not be such a drastic jump from the reality that you're in to the reality that you want, but you're thinking, okay, even though you really want that reality, it doesn't feel safe to jump from such a strong contrast of reality.[00:14:00]
So it's important to find something that will ease you into it, and then the more seasoned you become on manifesting, the easier it will be. And personally, my own journey, I started writing down affirmations and for me, I'll tell you the stories that happened to me. I was working, I moved to New York.
Around that time, it was in between jobs. So I lived in San Francisco. I moved back, I stayed with my mom, and I was supposed to work in New York City. And one of the things I really dreaded at first was to work in New York City in some cooped up little cubicle where I had no light. And I remember thinking, okay, I'm reading this book.
It's telling me that I should be manifesting and focusing on only what I want, not what I don't want. So I said, okay, I want natural light. That was something that I felt really important. So at the time, I kept thinking of like natural light working in a job that I really liked. And it happened to be, even though I changed my careers and I didn't feel that architecture aligned for my work, [00:15:00] it still happened to be my favorite job that was actually gonna come from that manifestation.
So I started thinking about and writing about. Working in a job where I had lots of natural light and what do you know? I found a job and they had three stories in a building in New York City. And where they put me was right under these huge high ceiling skylights. And I'm thinking like, this is very, very unrealistic.
And I remember even telling my cousin who lives in New York City and he said, that is just not something that happens. It's very, very rare. So that was just one of the things that I saw. And then I also really enjoyed the people I had the best time. And then I started writing affirmations about. Meeting my husband.
And so I wrote a huge list of exactly what I wanted. I wrote it on a really beautiful handmade paper, so it was one of those like handmade papers that was really cushiony and beautifully made, and I put a candlelight and I created this [00:16:00] whole atmosphere and I wrote down what I wanted in a husband. And I described it as if it already happened.
So I said, I am married to X, Y, and Z. And I described exactly his personality and there were definitely very unique traits that I put in there that were very specific to him. A month later, I met my husband and the crazy thing is I don't remember throwing that paper out. I remember keeping it somewhere.
And for the life of me, I have no idea where it disappeared to. But I will not forget the list that I put in because it was exactly who my husband was. And I know because it was something that I really felt strongly about as I was writing. So it was something that would never really leave my memory. So ultimately, a manifestation practice can really support your fertility journey, but you don't want it to.
Invalidate your experience. You don't want it to overwhelm you and be more stressful, and you don't want it to make you feel any kind of [00:17:00] regret or shame that you're not doing things right, but if you use it in a way that can really support you. It could be really tremendous, and I do often talk about this with my clients and my patients as long as I know and feel that they're ready.
So if you are ready and you feel like, okay, I wanna add this to my journey, then here are a couple of tips, and I talked a little bit about this before. One of them is to really prime yourself, to be in a state where you're able to be in flow. It's really, really important to be in a more neutral state where you're not resisting too much and you're not desiring too much, if that makes sense.
So you don't want too much of a push or a pull. You wanna get into a state where you're a little more neutral and aligned. One of the best tools for that is meditation. What meditation does oftentimes is it really gets you into the present moment. It gets you into your body, it gets you into a [00:18:00] receptive listening state, and it also really gets you open.
And the way to meditate really, there are two major ways that a lot of people will teach, and one of them is to pay attention to your breath because you cannot really be breathing in the past or the future. If you are focused on your breath, it's usually in the present moment. So you're ultimately giving a.
Focus to your mind so that when you have the monkey mind in the background, you can bring it back into the breath, which is always in the present moment. That being said, you're always gonna have a little bit of a monkey mind, and your mind is gonna wanna go wandering off, but what you do is you keep bringing it back to the breath.
And similarly, you can also do mantras internally that you're thinking to your mind now. The mantras that you choose do make a difference. There are seed mantras that are from Vedic traditions and they have studied the different mantras and there are certain mantra sounds that do make a difference.
Some sounds that are random can actually make it [00:19:00] worse. So they studied a lot of these sounds and they found that these seed mantras actually do. Calm the nervous system. So if you wanna just focus on one, it could be own, or it can even be the word calm or one, because those have been shown to also calm the nervous system.
So. That being said, your subconscious mind does not know the difference between negative or positive. So if you wanna say something that you want into your life, focus more on what you want. Don't say, I don't wanna be afraid, because your subconscious mind will take that as I wanna be afraid. You don't wanna do that.
So you wanna say, I want whatever it is you want, and. In order to bypass the BS monitor in your mind, what you'll wanna do is maybe start slowly, so maybe focus on my body and my reproductive health is getting better and better in every day. So you're saying it as something that is happening in the present moment, so it's getting better.[00:20:00]
But you can also say it is primed. It is optimal, it's healthy. There's a lot of blood flow in my uterus and my ovaries and every cell is being healed. So you wanna say it in the present moment. You wanna say it as if it already happened, but to go from like wanting to conceive to say, I already have a baby.
It might actually cause your mind to say, Hey, no, something's not right. So you want to ease yourself into that. You could imagine yourself eventually pregnant, a healthy pregnancy. Some people do actually see the baby, and so it's not that you shouldn't do that at all. You just wanna check in with yourself and see if your body and your mind are aligned with that, that it feels more natural.
So that's why I always say start out slow. Ease yourself into it. There are a couple of tricks that you can do. One being focusing on gratitude journal in general. When you're in a state of gratitude and when you're saying thank you, that means you've [00:21:00] received, you're coming at things with a state of receivership.
When you're doing that, you're already allowing things to come in so you can combine. I am thankful for things that have already happened, like starting a gratitude journal. Then through that, you can always add to that things that you're thankful for, that you wish you had, but as if it already happened, so that you're thankful for it, and you can mix and match and combine those two so that your mind will say, okay, well, I'm obviously thankful for things that I see right now.
So it will be a lot more receptive and suggestible to the things that you want. Another thing that is really important is not just your thoughts and not just what you're writing and saying. Also your state of mind. So this is one of the things that I often see with people when they're going through their fertility journey, since it is so stressful.
Sometimes we push back, are things that give us joy. You know, all the things that you used to do before you were on [00:22:00] the fertility journey. It's really, really important to make time for that and to make time for things that bring you joy because your state of emotions does impact. How you're able to create.
And when you're in a state of survival, your body is not gonna be in a creative state because it's more focused on survival. And now we know also that being in a survival state or a fight or flight mode is also going to impact your fertility in a physiological way. So it's really important to do things that give you more peace, give you more ease.
And I suggest, I highly suggest, actually, this is a really quick fix, is watching comedies. Just laughing, getting into that state where you're just forgetting just even for a little bit, even if you could take an hour a day of doing something like that, something that will get your mind off of things.
Maybe being in nature, doing something that you like. Listening to music, anything that you can do that will shift your state of mind. To a more positive, more [00:23:00] easy, more open would be ideal. So if this is something that you feel really resonant with and it's something that you would like to learn more about, how to get into a state of calm and really get into the mindset aspect of it, I do have a rooted mindset membership.
That helps with a lot of different ways to really get into the inner workings of our minds. And this includes hypnosis, audios, meditation tips, lots of mindset tools, including some yoga as well. And I will leave a link to that in the description so you can check it out. The great thing about it is that I have a seven day trial, so you can check it out if you like it.
Keep it. So I really hope you benefited from this information. I do think that manifestation is something that a lot of people are not really sure how to view. I personally have seen it work like insanely work, and I've had it even happen with my house. So I know it works just [00:24:00] on my own personal journey, and I've heard a lot of pretty crazy stories from my clients as well, so I know it does work.
My belief is that we are born creators, but it's just important on how to do it and not to do it in a way that is too constricted. Pulling too strongly. It's in a state that is more expansive and released because I do feel like that flow state is really important when it comes to creation. So I hope you enjoyed this episode and I will see you next time. [00:25:00]